Do You Know Where You're Standing?
by Phanfiction18
Summary: Phil gets home from his Christmas with his family and he and Dan start to talk. When Dan ends up admitting his feelings, will his and Phil's friendship be able to hold?


_When is Phil going to be back? _I thought. After a few hours of just tweeting and replying to people I decided to go and wait for Phil to return to the flat. We both had been gone for Christmas and haven't seen each other in a while so I was the freaking Teletubbies sun just waiting for the familiar voice to chime through the flat.

"Dan? DAAAN! I'm home!" I yelled. "Come help me with my luggage! I got a lot of stuff from my family." I really wanted to see Dan hurry on his way down here to see me. I missed him so much, surely he did too.

I heard Phil's voice and then I saw him. My whole face lit up and I ran towards him like the small child I was inside. After running a few steps I realized that I shouldn't be running towards my best friend just cause he arrived home. "Hey Ph-il." I tried to say coolly but my voice betrayed me and cracked halfway through his name.

"You okay? You sound sick." I said while pulling him into a hug. I really missed his scent. I handed him half of my bags as we walked up the stairs. We just set them in the lounge and I put more presents under our tree.

"Yeah." I cleared my throat as he handed me some bags. "Just fine." I watched as he put gifts under the tree. "You got me stuff?" I asked, feeling slightly guilty. We promised that we weren't going to buy each other anything this year. But when I went to a shop I saw a poster that Phil would love so I got him it.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry I know we kind of had that rule where we shouldn't but I was in this one shop and I saw a few things they didn't have here. One is from my brother for you." I said making myself comfy on the sofa.

"It's fine. I bought a few things." I said casually. I looked at Phil as he was sitting down and I blushed. I hid my face behind my fringe for two reasons. One, he's my best friend and I shouldn't be blushing cause of him. And two, he was just sitting down for fucks sake. Why was that making me blush of all things?

I laughed. "Are you sure you're feeling okay? You look like you're gonna faint or something" I said while getting back up and walking over to Dan. I lightly grabbed his face, seeing how pink it was. I put my hand to his forehead. My eyebrows furrowed. "You don't feel hot."

I pulled my face away from Phil's grasp, flinching from his touch. "Yeah, I'm fine." I snapped a little too sharply. I turned around to see a shocked Phil. "I-I'm sorry. I just need some air." I said, heading towards the front door.

I was taken back by the way Dan just acted. "No, Dan where are you going. Don't go! What's wrong?" I sputtered out, walking after him and grabbing a hold of the back of his shirt.

"Nothing." I said, trying to get out of his grasp. "I told you, I just need some air." After breaking his steel-like grip on my shirt I speed walked over to the door. I looked back at Phil, standing in the middle of the room. I saw him slowly turn and around and begin to walk back to the sofa. With a sigh, I silently closed the door and began walking back over to him.

I lay down on the couch, holding a pillow into me. Holiday weeks are meant to be special. Not.. Confusing and hurtful. I heard feet padding back into the room. I turned over so I could face towards the sofa. "I thought you were stepping out for 'air'" I said a little too cold.

"Well.." I trailed off before regaining my train of thought. "I didn't want it to be one of those situations where I walk out of the room and suddenly there's forever a rift between us cuz of one stupid thing." I rambled, not sure where to finish my sentence. "Anyways, I'm back now and I just wanted to apologize. I'm not sick, I'm just.. I don't know exactly." I gave a shy smile.

I turned back over to look at him. "What thing? I'm sure whatever it is it won't ruin our friendship. Dan we've been best friends for nearly 5 years in a couple months. Nothing can destroy what we have." I admitted. I caught myself staring at his mouth. I love his smiles, even if they were forced.

I vaguely saw Phil staring at my lips but threw the idea away. There was absolutely _no_ way he could've been staring at my lips. I took in a few breaths. After going over it in my head a few times I finally blew out my final intake of relaxing breaths and sat down next to Phil. "I don't know how to start this." I said, reaching out to take his hand but then realizing my mistake and quickly pulling my hands back.

"Dan you're acting like its bad. It can't be that bad. Just say it" I said softly, reaching out to rub his arm for a second to comfort him.

I slowly looked up at him and gave a forced smile. "It's not easy loving your best friend and not being able to tell him." I whispered just loud enough for Phil to hear. After admitting my feelings I quickly broke my stare and instantly trained my eyes on my hands in my lap.

_Love? As in love love or just. What?!_ I thought. I was silent for a little, trying to find the words to say; not wanting to say the wrong thing. "I.." I began, but stopped. "I love you too" I breathed out, properly sitting up. I hope he means it in the same way I do, cause I fell in love with this boy the first time we Skyped in 2009.

I snapped my head up looking at Phil. He was joking. He was trying to play some sort of joke on me. I was suddenly infuriated. I stood up, looking Phil straight in the eyes. "Stop fucking around with me, Phillip." I growled. "I was being serious. What sick game are you getting at?" I said as I stormed to my room and slammed the door shut.

"No no Dan!" I shouted. I jumped slightly hearing his door slam. "..I would never joke about that…I love you so much" I muttered to myself. I felt hot tears running down my face. I wiped them away immediately. I shouldn't cry. I'm fucking 26. I got up to walk out of the lounge, kicking the wall hard enough to make me squeak. I didn't want to leave the flat; it's much too cold out. I settled for a spot by the door. It's best to have Dan calm down.


End file.
